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This just arrived yesterday.  Snug and Tug.  He seems to really like it.  He's a baby who needs/wants to be swaddled to sleep.  And he's just so huge that he quickly outgrew the little $10 Swaddleme wraps that I had.  I had to move up to the Cadillac of swaddlers.

And my mom got us a new sling carrier...the Rockin' Baby Pouch.  He never wants to be put down lately and so we're trying to get into the sling of things! 

I'm always searching for another outlet... another home.  I'm guilty of buying paper journals and only writing on the first few pages.  I suppose I'm more in love with the idea of a journal than anything else.  I'm hoping vox will have staying power due to the fact that I'll be able to easily update from my nifty new smartphone.  I'm usually struck with the urge to write when I have no access to my laptop.  Problem solved.

I grew tired of my journal on myspace because I felt as though I had to keep a smile on and pretend everything was Perfect (like in the Walgreen's commercial). 

So for the poor soul who stumbles upon this humble blog, here's my story...

I'm a 26 year old mother, wife, and teacher.  My son is 16 months old.  My marriage is almost 2 years old.  My career is two years old.  You do the math.  Suffice it to say, May 2006 - May 2007 was one hell of a year.  I hit almost every major life change in that time span and somehow managed to hold on to fragments of my sanity.  Marriage is damn hard.  So is parenting.  Pile working on top of all that, and sometimes I feel my shoulders just hang. 

If I'm completely honest with myself, life is very good.  Everyone I love is healthy, I'm not facing foreclosure, and I can afford to buy a few organic goodies for my little boy.  I have a ragged old couch, but a good roof over my head.  I just want a place I can be honest with myself and not have to worry about who's going to find out or get angry because I don't have them as #1 on my friends list. 

1. I have my new teeth!

2. My project at work is finished and on the website

3. I got a good rap at the weekly manager's meeting

4. I have been invited to go and see The Vagina Monologues in a few weeks time with some friends

5. I can knock off work early tonight (well comparatively early).

6. Friday night is "Pizza Night"

7. I have yoga tomorrow

8. My husband has worked out what is causing his headaches (and it is hopefully something fixable)

9. The blokes I work with have invited me to join their Monday cheapie lunch club (a good sign that I am fitting in)

10. My daughter is just about to have her grading exam at Kung Fu and is very excited about it

11. Kung Fu Panda starts next week

12. I am going to take some leave during the July school holidays

13. It is Friday!!!

Teeth new smile phone camera

I have also got my first modelling gig. The dentist wants to post before and after photos of my teeth on his website.  Ha!  I had previously told the guys at work I would be leaving to resume my career as a supermodel as soon as my dental work was finished so thought this was pretty funny. 

The title of this post is actually the title of a book by American author, Rosalind Wiseman about 'helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends and other realities of adolescence'. 

Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence

Rosalind Wiseman

My daughter, V, is not yet an adolescent but has been having problems on and off with a particular Queen Bee (let's call her C) since starting at her new school approximately 18 months ago.  C is a very tall and attractive girl who is quite popular with the teachers and many of the girls.  She seemed to develop a dislike for my daughter last year, I suspect because my daughter became 'too friendly' with some of C's minions, one of whom is the daughter of a good friend of mine.  She would tell V that she was 'annoying' and 'wasn't allowed to play' with their group of girls.  V used to get upset aboit this exclusion but then made another good friend, H, who was completely apart from that group. 

I was a bit concerned this year to hear that C was in my daughter's class while all the minions and my daughter's friend H were in other classes.  However C seems to have decided that she would be nice to V this year (much to V's amazement "It was if nothing had ever happened last year").  Yesterday V came home crying again and said that not only was C excluding her from the group but had also managed to turn H against her.  I had a word to my friend and she spoke to her daughter who told her that C had told them all that she didn't like V because V "talks too much" (FFS!).  I suspect that the real reason is that we had one of C's neighhbours (a lovely girl who is quite capable of standing up to C) over to play on the weekend and it has got back to her and she is seeing V as competition again.  It probably doesn't also help that V was awarded 'Student of the Month' by their mutual class teacher last month and is generally well regarded by most people at the school. 

As tempting as it was to let V stay home today (I am home with the flu myself), I didn't think that was going to help her.  My husband and I explained to her that C is probably jealous of her and that the only reason she has any power over other girls (including V) is that they let her have this power by going along with her when she decides they are 'in' while someone else is 'out'.  I suggested she stay right out of it by playing with some other girls who are nothing to do with this group (I know from things like party invitations that V does have other friends even though she claims not to) and letting C see that she has no power over V.  I am sure that if she does this, then the others, especially H, will come back soon enough. 

I thought about talking to C's mother myself but suspect that she is actually part of the problem as her other daughter does exactly the same kind of thing with girls in her class (my friend's other daughter is one of the main victims in this case).  My friend who knows C's mother quite well also said not to even bother talking to her as there is no way this mother will hear anything bad about either of her daughters.

I also didn't want to go to the teacher about it as really I don't think there is a lot they can do about this kind of "sneaky bullying" at this age. 

I think it is probably a hard but necessary lesson for V that you can't change anyone's behaviour but your own.  Hopefully developing this resilience now will help her when she does reach adolescence and this kind of thing ramps up even more. 

I really hope I am doing the right thing.